Bigmincey
12-06-09, 08:36 PM
If easily offended, dont proceed any further then complain !
You have been warned !;)
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So Michael Jackson has skin cancer (all together now) – “Don’t blame it on the sunshine”
Good news for adventurous tourists who want something different. You can now book an Air France tour to see the titanic.
David Blaine’s record of doing fuck all in a box for 42 days has just been broken by Jade Goody.
Paddy weighs 20 stone so his doctor puts him on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day and repeat this for 2 weeks, you should lose 5lbs. When Paddy returned he shocked the doctor by having lost 4 stone. “That’s amazing” the doc said. Paddy nodded… “I’ll tell you be Jesus, I taut I was gonna drop dead by da 3rd day”. “What from hunger” said the doc? “No, from the fuckin skippin’”
Paddy’s wedding night & his new bride is lying naked spread-eagled on the bed. She says “You know what I want”. Paddy says “all the fuckin bed by the look of it”.
A woman with tiny tits goes into M&S and asks for a bra, size 32AAAA. They don’t do anything that small. She goes to La Senza & asks for the same. They don’t do that size. After several stores & the same answer she storms into Debenhams, marches up to the lingerie section, pulls her top down & yells “Do you have anything for these?” The assistant asks “Have you tried Clearasil?”
Renault & Ford are building a car between them to beat the credit crunch, based on the Clio & the Taurus, the all new “Clitaurus” will be available in Pink and comes with optional furry dash.
I had a terrible dream last night. So bad in fact I woke up screaming. I dreamt I had a boil on the end of my cock. It was no ordinary boil it was Susan Boyle!
Driving instructor says to a Welsh farmer “Can you make a u-turn?” Farmer replies “listen boyo… I can make its fuckin eyes water if I go in dry!”
Remember that photo of Michael Jackson holding a baby over a balcony, if you’ve got one hang onto it, it’s unique. He usually tosses ‘em off.
Alan.................
You have been warned !;)
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So Michael Jackson has skin cancer (all together now) – “Don’t blame it on the sunshine”
Good news for adventurous tourists who want something different. You can now book an Air France tour to see the titanic.
David Blaine’s record of doing fuck all in a box for 42 days has just been broken by Jade Goody.
Paddy weighs 20 stone so his doctor puts him on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day and repeat this for 2 weeks, you should lose 5lbs. When Paddy returned he shocked the doctor by having lost 4 stone. “That’s amazing” the doc said. Paddy nodded… “I’ll tell you be Jesus, I taut I was gonna drop dead by da 3rd day”. “What from hunger” said the doc? “No, from the fuckin skippin’”
Paddy’s wedding night & his new bride is lying naked spread-eagled on the bed. She says “You know what I want”. Paddy says “all the fuckin bed by the look of it”.
A woman with tiny tits goes into M&S and asks for a bra, size 32AAAA. They don’t do anything that small. She goes to La Senza & asks for the same. They don’t do that size. After several stores & the same answer she storms into Debenhams, marches up to the lingerie section, pulls her top down & yells “Do you have anything for these?” The assistant asks “Have you tried Clearasil?”
Renault & Ford are building a car between them to beat the credit crunch, based on the Clio & the Taurus, the all new “Clitaurus” will be available in Pink and comes with optional furry dash.
I had a terrible dream last night. So bad in fact I woke up screaming. I dreamt I had a boil on the end of my cock. It was no ordinary boil it was Susan Boyle!
Driving instructor says to a Welsh farmer “Can you make a u-turn?” Farmer replies “listen boyo… I can make its fuckin eyes water if I go in dry!”
Remember that photo of Michael Jackson holding a baby over a balcony, if you’ve got one hang onto it, it’s unique. He usually tosses ‘em off.
Alan.................