Glaswegian Pilot....

[Bigmincey]

A passenger airliner has just landed at Glasgow airport and after coming to a halt, the Pilot does his customary speech, but forgets to switch the intercom off !
The Co-pilot asks the Pilot what he has got planned for the rest of the evening, and the Pilot replies, "First up I am going for a shite and then I am gonna bang the arse off that new wee stewardess" Unaware every passenger has just heard him !!

The wee stewardess is mortified and starts to run up to the cockpit to confront him, but trips and falls right before the cockpit door.

A wee Glasgow wummin helps her up and says, "Take yir time dear, he`s goin fur a shite first"

Alan...............

[quattrothedog]

A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks. One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small. The husband comes up with a suggestion. ?If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds.?

Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. ?How long will this take?? she asks.

?They?ll grow larger over a period of years,? he replies.

The wife stops. ?Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years??

The husband shrugs. ?Why not, it worked for your arse, didn't it??

[mowerwizard]

:worship: I wonder if this was the flight they showed Glasgow's sequel to Silence of the Lambs?





"YOU'S BE QUIET"






Ken.

[Andy Dean]

:worship: I wonder if this was the flight they showed Glasgow's sequel to Silence of the Lambs?





"YOU'S BE QUIET"






Ken.

Touché ..........:)